so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
