Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
