You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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