maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
