why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
