billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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