i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
