Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
You left your phone here
Wait...
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
