I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I just googled if crying burns calories
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
