we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
