You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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