We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Randomize
