Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
