I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
