he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm passing your future prison.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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