Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I love having hate sex.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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