Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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