I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
