Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
