I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Randomize
