we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
