You made me cry and you don't even care
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
two words: eviction party
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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