Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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