so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Only a mothe r could love this liver
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize