My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
