I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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