Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
