if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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