At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
