took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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