wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
