dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
