so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
