who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize