flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Every concussion has its silver lining
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize