i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
