just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I think a kid would responsible me up
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
