talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
