Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
My pussy is not your playground.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
