im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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