I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
