is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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