New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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