I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
