Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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