Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize