GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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