RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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