I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Randomize
