I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
