I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
