mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
