I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
