At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
