IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
false alarm, still single
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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