It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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