haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
