That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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