k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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