Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
