I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
