okay pat passed out under dana's car
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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