apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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