I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
