yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
