seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize