this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
