Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
