did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
