Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Randomize
