I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
